Selby Santa

Author:Duncan Ball [Ball, Duncan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-0-730-49513-0
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Published: 2007-02-14T16:00:00+00:00

` ‘Lamington Drive? Wait. We just got a call from one of your neighbours. Apparently there’s smoke pouring out of your house.’

‘That’s right!’

‘Get out of the house and stay calm. The Fire Department is on its way.’

In seconds the firefighters were there putting out the flames. Moments afterwards, the Trifles both arrived.

‘I told you to take the cake out of the oven!’ Mrs Trifle said, going back to normal talk after the firefighters had left. ‘What a mess.’

‘You did?’ Dr Trifle said, also in normal talk. ‘I thought you sent me off to buy a toilet plunger.’

‘What a disaster,’ Selby thought. ‘And it’s all because of this poncy Ralph guy. I hate him already and I haven’t even met him yet.’

‘Quick!’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘That’s Ralph coming up the path right now! Mind your language.’

‘Oh no, here we go again,’ Selby thought.

‘Greetings and salutations, cousin Raphael,’ Mrs Trifle said, shaking the man’s hand.

‘Welcome to our humble abode, Professor Bagsby-Gormless,’ Dr Trifle said.

‘G’day,’ the man said, ‘how ya goin’? Forget the professor stuff. Just call me Ralph, okay? Crikey! What happened to your kitchen? What a shemozzle!’

‘It was a rather devastating conflagration,’ Mrs Trifle said.

‘A what? A fire? Gee you guys talk funny. Stone the crows! Does everybody in Bogusville talk like you lot?’

‘Well no, not really,’ Mrs Trifle said.

‘Thank goodness for that!’ Ralph laughed. ‘I came here to study the way people talk in Australian country towns these days. That’s what I’m an expert in. Fair dinks, guys, I love that country sense of humour. You really had me goin’.’

Selby watched as the Trifles’ blushes slowly turned to smiles.

‘What’s the little guy’s name?’ Ralph asked, looking at Selby.

‘That’s Selby,’ Mrs Trifle said. ‘He’s our only pet. We think of him as one of the family.’

‘He looks like a cool little dude,’ Ralph said, giving Selby a pat. ‘Oh, by the way, guys, where’s your dunny?’

‘I love this guy,’ Selby thought. ‘He talks my kind of talk. Of course, he’s never going to find that out.’

All of which brings us to the conclusion, the culmination, the termination of this tale. Or in other words:

THE END

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